The Hidden Gifts of Uncertainty

The year 2022 forced me to face some of my greatest fears—fears that cut deep into my soul and made me question everything I thought I knew about life. But the greatest challenge my wife and I faced was something no parent ever wants to experience: the uncertainty surrounding the health of one of our children.

For five years, we searched for answers. We consulted the best doctors in the field, hoping that someone, somewhere, could give us clarity. But instead of finding certainty, we were met with contradictions. Specialists disagreed on the diagnosis, the prognosis, and the course of action. Instead of guiding us, they turned to us to make the final decisions.

Imagine that. You go to the world’s leading experts for answers, only to realize that no one truly knows. The burden of choosing the right path, of deciding which treatments to pursue and which to reject, which surgeries to do and which not, fell entirely on us. The pressure was paralyzing. The weight of every decision felt unbearable. The helplessness was overwhelming.

And yet, in the middle of this storm, we had something that no doctor, no expert, no outside source could ever give us: a child with an unbreakable spirit. A child who, despite every setback, despite the pain, despite the uncertainty, never gave up and would always get back up again.

Lessons from the Darkness

There are moments in life when we desperately search for someone to tell us what to do, to give us the right answers, to lead the way. But sometimes, life doesn’t work that way. Sometimes, the answer isn’t out there. It’s inside.

We live in a world that teaches us to look outward—to seek advice, to follow experts, to trust in external sources of wisdom. But what happens when the voices around us contradict one another? What happens when the path forward isn’t clear? In those moments, life demands something greater from us. It demands that we stop searching for someone to tell us what to do and, instead, become the protagonists of our own story.

This experience didn’t just challenge us to trust ourselves in making the best decisions for our child—it forced us to start living in a way that was truly ours. Not the way society tells us to. Not the way tradition or expectations dictate. But the way that felt authentic, aligned, and right for us.

For years, we had lived under the assumption that there was a “right” way to do things. A “right” way to build a career. A “right” way to educate our kids. A “right” way to structure our lives. But this experience shattered all of that. It made us question who gets to define right and wrong in the first place.

So, we did what felt impossible at the time—we let go. 

We let go of conventional wisdom and leaned into our truth. 

We moved countries, searching for a life that felt more in tune with who we are.

We built businesses that aligned with our purpose—even if they weren’t the most financially secure option.

We allowed our kids to be kids, to grow up in nature, to learn outside of the traditional education system. And the “best education system” according to who?

We stopped measuring our choices against the expectations of the world and started listening to what actually made sense for us.

Finding Light in the Unknown

This journey has not been easy. It has broken us and healed us, tested us and transformed us. It has made us question everything and, in doing so, given us answers we never expected.

Because the truth is, hardship doesn’t just break us—it breaks us open. It forces us to ask deeper questions. It makes us rethink the way we live, what we value, and who we are becoming. And if we allow it, it can lead us to something greater than we ever imagined.

It is very hard to find gratitude in situations like these, but now looking back, this experience is by far what has transformed our lives the most. It has at times broken our marriage, and at times strengthened it; it has led us to grow as individuals, as a couple, and as a family; it has given us a different appreciation for what it means to be alive and healthy; it has led us to reevaluate our values and redesign how we live; it has deeply changed the course of our lives; it has taught us to live with uncertainty and to believe.

And through it all, I have come to believe with every fiber of my being that Hashem is with us every step of the way, and guides us towards a complete healing at the appropriate time. Healing that runs much deeper than what meets the eye.

I don’t know what the future holds. But I do know this: I no longer see hardship as something to simply endure. I see it as an opportunity to grow, to refine who we are, as an experience we had to go through as a family to learn life lessons that we would have never otherwise learned.

So, whatever challenge you may be facing—whether it’s uncertainty, loss, disappointment, or fear—recognize that there is more to it. Know that, even in the darkest moments, there is plenty of light, and certainly an important lesson waiting on the other side.

And hopefully, one day, as it happened to my wife and I, you will look back and realize that what once felt like the hardest thing in your life, was actually the catalyst for something beautiful.

With Gratitude, Love, and Bitachon,

Abi

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